Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login


Okay, so here's the England x Reader request
Sorry for being late! I just got a horrible case of writer's block
T^T I hope you guys enjoy!

-.-.-.-.-


   You walked into the bar, hoping to feel better coming out than you did coming in. Today sucked, you were fired from a well paying job, your car got towed, you literally got into a fist fight with the co-owners of your house and to top it all off your boyfriend dumped you after he stood up to you, (oh did I mention it was over the phone) Oh well, if he didn't have the balls to stand up to you in person, he didn't deserve you anyway.
  
  After plopping yourself down on a stool, you ordered the strongest drink the bar offered. The barman handed you the beverage and you could've sworn he winked at you. You reminisced about your crappy day and downed the alcoholic drink in one swig, trying to swallow it before the rancid taste could settle on your tongue. You glared at the glass, it didn't numb your pain. So, you ordered another. Nothing. Another. Still nothing. A fourth. You felt a little something that time. After your fifth drink, you got a little tipsy.
   
  "...and so, Kyle stood up on top of the table and started to sing the Canadian National Anthem while attempting ballet." you finished your story and just about to start another when the barman announced that it was closing time. "Hey can I Have another drink Pleeeaaaassseeee?" you begged the man. He flatly refused and kicked you out of the now empty bar into the dark, abandoned street. Abandoned. just like you. Everyone you knew abandoned you.
   
   Every time you made a friend, they would always leave you for the popular crowd. Your boyfriend abandoned you. even your own parents gave up on you, thinking that you were a hopeless case. It was true, you were completely alone  nad no one cared. at least that's what you thought anyways.
   Tears started streaming down your face as you stumbled down the empty streets. Then, rain started to fall, making it hard to tell your tears from the raindrops falling. not that it really mattered anyways, no one could see you. And you continued on until you started to cross the street. A car came by, its headlights blasting on high. It blinded you for a moment all that could be heard was the shriek of tires and a car horn honking at you. You started to get out of the way, but tripped. A pain shot through your face as you barely escaped the speeding car swerving out of the way. While falling, for some reason you made a high pitched WHEE-ing noise (gee wiz I wonder why, maybe it's because you're drunk)

    "________!_______, are you okay love?! Oh my god, I almost hit you!" Someone was yelling at you, who was it? Still in a drunken daze, you opened your eyes to see a pair of emerald green eyes staring down at you.
    "Eng*hic* England? Hey budday!" you giggled and spasticly flapped your hand as if waving hello to someone.
    "______, you're drunk aren't you?"
    "PFFFT, nooooo, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm totally sob*hic* sob-sour? is that the word, I can't remember!" Your British friend just face palmed.
    "oh really? What's two plus two?"
    "FIVE DAMMIT!" You yelled holding up three fingers.
    "No, it's four, you're drunk" He started to pick you up.
    "Nuh-uh! It's five! And I think I would know if I'm drunk silly willy" You gasped>
    "What? Does it hurt?!" England asked, obviously worried.
    "En-England it's it's....YOUR EYEBROWS THEY'RE SO FLUFFY!" You stated whil rubbing them vigorously.
    "Please stop that"
    "They remind me of that squirrel I hit with my car that one time! You remember right? I hit it at that park, and all those kids were watching, they all started crying and stuff. It was so funny, 'cause that nice police man came along and asked me to leave." You started to ramble on. (while you were rambling in and on, Britain put you in his car and strapped you in)
    "______, what's your address again? I'm taking you home"
    "You can't"
    "And why not?"
    "I got into a fistfight with my roommate and got kicked out, oh and don't bother going to my boyfriend's, he dumped me."
    "No wonder you're drunk, you've had a long day huh?" England mumbled as he started the car.
    "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, I was fired too. *hic* Now I'm a jobless homeless person, like in the city." You gleefully fist pumped the air. "you know what? You, you are like my only friend, you're my best friend"
    England sighed, he knew this was true. You two were best friends since the first grade. He had watched from afar as you made relationships with people, changing them. He was always there for you especially when your life would crash down, he was always there to catch you in the end.

.-.-.-.-.-.-
    
    "ohmygawd I'm flying!"
    "No love, that's just me carrying you"
    "Are you sure? I swear I'm flying, but I'll take your word for it Iggybrows"
    "Please don't call me that...." England laid you down on the bed in the guest bedroom. He turned around and was about to leave when he was stopped by a hand grabbing onto his shirt.
    "Please don't leave me..." You looked up at him with pleading eyes, the tears returned.  
    "Alright love" He climbed in bed with you and wrapped his arms around your small figure.
.-.-.-.-.-.-

    "ugh Who let me get hit by a monkey with hammer and let him laugh at my pain?" you held your head "and did I get attacked by a rampaging cockatoo?" You examined the bruises you obtained from falling.
    "More like I almost hit you with my car"
    "Oh okay, um, where am I?"
    "My house"
    "Thanks England"
    "No problem"
    "Can I ask you something?"
    "Yeah, what?"
    "Did America Bitch slap me again?"
    "No, you fell out of bed last night"
    "Okay thanks"
                                          End
Okay, so here's my first request, I apologize for being slow with ful filling these requests. I hope you like it Ratgirl1221 helped me with my editing.

It was funny because I asked her how to spell Cockatoo, and she was spelling it really slowly and I said "Okay, I have the cock part" without realizing what I had said. I will never be let down for that now...

by the way the bartender is supposed to be this creepy fat guy with a combover and all gross and stuff

I don't own Hetalia
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrp-96neko:
RP-96Neko Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014
Did america bitch slap me again! Lol XD
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014  Student General Artist
One of my favorite lines too, I'm glad you enjoyed it! 
Reply
:iconrp-96neko:
RP-96Neko Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014
Thanks ^^
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014  Student General Artist
no, i should be thanking you for enjoying my story!
Reply
:iconrp-96neko:
RP-96Neko Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014
Ok then ^^ in that case you're welcome~!
Reply
:iconkirakatxd:
KiraKatXD Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013   Writer
I love drunk me omg
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student General Artist
lol I'm glad you enjoyed it. I tried to make the reader really derpy 
Reply
:iconhinatathebloom1:
Hinatathebloom1 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
Loved the ending XD
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! It's one of my favorites too!
Reply
:iconhinatathebloom1:
Hinatathebloom1 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
Your welcome and cool ^^
Reply
:iconyasminapopovici:
yasminapopovici Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Poor America,he Bitch-slapped me...>8D...*creepy toughts in my head*
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student General Artist
yurp. ROFL I can only imagine what you may be thinking.....
Reply
:iconyasminapopovici:
yasminapopovici Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I should kill him how did Satoko from Higurashi died...>8D...Or even worse...
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student General Artist
E-errrrr...... :iconscaredamericaplz:
Reply
:iconyasminapopovici:
yasminapopovici Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*evil laugh* *knife* *big wood cross in the other room* America-kun,let's play a game where you try to run and I kill you...Want to play?>8D
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student General Artist
I-I U-uh.....No *runs*
Reply
:iconyasminapopovici:
yasminapopovici Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'll take that as a yes >8D...*runs after him with iron baseball bat* COME PLAY WITH ME!
Reply
:iconaveangeladarkangel:
Aveangeladarkangel Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
why does 2+2 = 5? unless the comments are just playing with your story
Reply
:iconcorykrush:
CoryKrush Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
2+2... is 4?! :iconmindfuckplz:
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student General Artist
nuuuuu it's fffiiiiiiivvvveee
Reply
:iconcorykrush:
CoryKrush Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Okay, cool... For a second there, I was like, "I'VE BEEN LIED TO ALL MY LIFE."
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student General Artist
you never know....
Reply
:iconrabidfoamingfangirl:
Rabidfoamingfangirl Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Iggy, you should know that 2+2=5 and not to fight with me when I get drunk!
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student General Artist
lol ikr?
Reply
:iconrabidfoamingfangirl:
Rabidfoamingfangirl Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
He should know better. But thanks for the awesome story!
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student General Artist
np~ I'm glad you enjoyed it, I mean, you did enjoy it, right?
Reply
:iconrabidfoamingfangirl:
Rabidfoamingfangirl Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yep!
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student General Artist
well, that's good! (:
Reply
:iconthathetaliabitch:
ThatHetaliaBitch Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
2+2=5 DAMMT!!!
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student General Artist
It IS five...........right? Idk I CANNOT REMEMBER!!!
Reply
:iconthathetaliabitch:
ThatHetaliaBitch Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Idk... cuz I GOT A HANGOVER, eeeh!
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student General Artist
d*mn straight!
Reply
:icondarkest-crystal72:
Darkest-Crystal72 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wait...again!? DAMNIT AMERICA, WTH HAPPENED THAT MADE YOU BITCH-SLAP ME?!?
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Student General Artist
was it something naughty?
Reply
:icondarkest-crystal72:
Darkest-Crystal72 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i dont know... was it? :iconiggybrowsplz:
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Student General Artist
you tell me, I'm not the one who got bitch slapped.
Reply
:icondarkest-crystal72:
Darkest-Crystal72 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
o.o er...well....
i was drunk too....
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Student General Artist
... RANDOM SMILEY FACE!!! (:
Reply
:icondarkest-crystal72:
Darkest-Crystal72 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
XD INDUBITABLY.
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Student General Artist
(: (: (: (:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconreruuu:
Reruuu Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
X'DDD THATS HILARIOUSLY GOOD X'DDD
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012  Student General Artist
thanks! I'm glad you like it!
Reply
:iconreruuu:
Reruuu Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
no probs ^U^
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012  Student General Artist
^.^
Reply
:iconokami233:
okami233 Featured By Owner May 30, 2012  Student Digital Artist
america bitch LOL
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Student General Artist
YESH! I wonder what you did to make him ,bitch slap you...
Reply
:iconokami233:
okami233 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
i might of kicked him in his lower regions baha
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Student General Artist
*face palm* no wonder
Reply
:iconokami233:
okami233 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
dude he were asking for it that sumbitch.probably banging seychelles behind my back.
Reply
:iconcozzbug:
Cozzbug Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Student General Artist
LOLZ ur right
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconcozzbug: More from Cozzbug


Featured in Collections

england by animeWORLD22

Hetalia Reader-insert by lizzie202

Hetalia by SakuraTaisen12


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
April 11, 2012
File Size
7.0 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,574 (1 today)
Favourites
104 (who?)
Comments
411
×